MERRY FRIGGING WINTER LIGHT FESTIVAL. Also life.

Why would someone be offended by referring to the formerly Pagan holiday on 25th of December as Christmas? I don't get it. Our local council is actually referring to it as "Winter Light Holiday", what? It's not even a festival of lights! Diwali is a festival of lights, and that can be called a light festival, but Christmas? It's about Jesus and presents and getting ridiculously smashed on Christmas Eve.
...
Okay, you need friends for that last part, so that isn't happening for me, but that's beside the point.
It just irks me. If you're gonna try and not offend anyone, then at least take the humorous approach.
Merry Christannakwanza! Shit works.

Life has been pretty cool lately. You know that audition? I only bloody got a part. Anyone who has seen Noises Off will get this, because I'm playing Selsdon. I Thoroughly look forward to breaking into a house with a great pause.
I also made some really cool stuff for school. In biology, we were challenged to bring in biology related confectionary, the others brought in gummy teeth and stuff but I went for it big time.
Picture this, a madeira cake, with chocolate fingers round the edges and Rolos on top. What biological molecule do you get? That's right! A phospholipid bilayer! I really wish I had gotten a photo, but we ate it too quick. It even had white chocolate drops on the side for the cholesterol and the entire science department came to have a look. It was awesome. For people how aren't or haven't done A Level Biology, this will make no sense to you. In lieu of this, here is a picture of a kitten to compensate.














Anyway, it was a badass cake, and it tasted fantastic.
That's pretty much it, so here are a few more genius quotes from real life, the internet and TV that made me smile.

"I am given 2 otters doused in turpentine every time I go into Sports Direct. I thought they were slippers at first." Vic Reeves on Shooting Stars, bamboozling an American presenter.
"Well drama won't work on the gays! It's like Gaytorade, it rebalances their electrolytes!" Jenna on 30 Rock (still very addicted XD)
"NO. IT OK. DON'T BE CRY!" Liz on 30 Rock.
"It's OK, these car things have brakes, so it's fine." I think it's funnier if I don't give the context. Let your imagination run wild.

<4, it's better than <3 by 1.